Our Father Who Wasn't There

I've taken to listening to Radio National in the morning as I do all those things around the home that comes with having a husband and three children, and I particularly like the "Life Matters" and "The Book Show" segments. This morning I was listening to an interview with David Carlin who has written a book called "Our Father Who Wasn't There", to be launched in Victoria at Readings in Carlton on 17th February.

It is a non-fiction book, but reads like a detective novel. That's because David Carlin never knew his father, Brian - he died when David was six months old. As David grew up, he noticed that no one talked about how his father died.  It wasn't until  he was 14 that he found out that his father committed suicide but even then the "why" was unexplained.  In the community where David lived - a country town south of Perth, the 60's were a time when death wasn't talked about and suicide was a taboo subject. Fourty five years after the death of his father, David pieces together the puzzle to understand who Brian was from the memories of friends, family, and publically available information such as Brian's military records. David discovers a man who was successful in his career, funny, and popular, but in private, a deeply troubled man suffering with bouts of mental illness, and struggling to deal with events in his past.


This story caught my attention and held it because it echoed many conversations I have had with friends and family over the last few years about the cohort of 40 plus year olds in our society who are not in a stable relationship, and who are battling with the acceptance of living alone, not having the family that they always assumed that they would have, and living in a the community which is too busy to draw these people in and provide that sense of belonging that we all need. There are many "Brians" in society today, and the issue of how we as a society support people in this sort of need is still one that we haven't come to grips with.

You can listen to this interview, by taking this link to the Radio National website: http://www.abc.net.au/rn/lifematters/stories/2010/2801766.htm